Living In A Fictitious World

Friday, March 14, 2014

Third Time Is NOT The Charm

I was hoping that the third time I was going to like this movie. But I still just think it was maybe okay. I don't think the Catching Fire movie is as good as everyone made it out to be. This is my third time watching it and I'm still disappointed.

We rented it. Now I usually prefer the theater experience to the couch, but eh. Got to see it on my TV sometime. And I'm sure when I buy the DVD I won't watch it much, but oh well. But I thought maybe, just maybe, the movie would be better if it was in my own home. Still not that great. Although getting to pause it when I had to pee was refreshing. That's the one perk to watching movies at home.

I already talked about why I don't like the movie as a whole. So this time I would like to talk about Effie. More specifically, Effie's Makeup and clothes. I don't know what they were doing but it was not a good choice. The outfit where she has like gold hair and makeup just so horrible looking. I want to cry each time I see it. Like no. Just no. What are you doing? The ONLY outfit Effie had on that actually looked good was the butterfly reaping dress. That's it. Shows over.

That's, hopefully, the last problem I've found with the movie. I'm sure another will come up when I actually buy the DVD and waste another two and half hours of my life crying over how this movie is way overrated. It's good. It's just not the best movie ever.

Monday, March 3, 2014

The Lego Movie

Hi. My name is Imogen, but you can call me Ham, and I am secretly a five year old. This weekend I went to see The Lego Movie (directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller) and it was the greatest decision that I have ever made. All I can say is: You really need to see it. Like if I could only pick one movie to recommend out of every single movie I've ever seen this would be the movie I would choose. I guess the reviews of this movie are super mixed, but I'm gonna go with it was straight up awesome and here's why.

"Everything is awesome. Everything is cool when you're part of a team." <- If you didn't walk out of the theater with this catchy little tune playing in your head then you are doing movies wrong. This is, by far, the best song in Movie history. I'll even challenge the Frozen sound track with this song (okay no I wont. That would just be too far, but the song is good). I mean like, I'm listening to it right now. It kinda sucks though because I had school today and belting it out in the middle of the halls is frowned upon.

Emmet (Chris Pratt). Oh my goodness I felt for Emmet (our main character) so much. From the start of the movie when he was having breakfast alone with his plant to the end when he was the hero. I almost shed a tear for the poor guy. Emmet was a nobody, until he was declared "The Special". Even then people still doubted him and thought he was stupid. I didn't think Emmet was stupid. I thought Emmet was one of the saddest characters I've seen in a long time. I felt for him every step of the way.

There was a plot, guys, come on, it had a plot. When I first read about the movie a few months ago I was like "that sounds stupid" but I was really wrong. Emmet must stop Lord Business from gluing the world together. But I think it's about so much more than that.

And the sass. This movie was so funny and sassy and perfect. Literally the sassiest movie of all time. And the sass award goes to: The Lego movie. I thought I was only going to laugh like once or twice but girl I was laughing through the entire thing. From the first scene on I was dying. I feel like a lot of the jokes were more for teenagers and young adults, not for kids. They weren't like dirty or anything. Just more relevant to someone in my age group. If you want to laugh then go see this movie.

So I'm giving this movie 4.5 stars. Why? The ending kind of made me a little, well, I don't even know. It wasn't angering or disappointing, just weird. It went a little off for me when real people started popping up. That's when I was like nah I don't like this. Luckly it was only for like ten minutes and then it was done so good.

I give this movie all of the stars.

Wednesday, February 12, 2014

My Related Paper About Plastic

Hey everybody. This is my attempt to post more, so it's Whatever Wednesday. My favorite of the days. I'm just kidding, this is probably my least favorite of the days, but I had an idea. So today I'm going to share with you a paper I actually turned in to one of my teachers. And once you read it you are probably going to be like "what the hell is wrong with this girl." but I'm gonna share it with you anyways. A little background, the paper was supposed to be about a documentary we watched about how plastic is killing the world. I hated it. It was well filmed, and well narrated, and it wasn't even that boring, I just didn't care about plastic. We were supposed to talk about three things we learned and we were supposed to give a solution to the plastic problem. I got a 75 on this paper, so a solid C. I think I deserved an A+ (not really it was horrible). So I want to hear what you think about this paper that I actually turned in. Enjoy. Sorry about the formatting. Blogger is being ridiculous and a half. Maybe I can fix it, maybe I can't.

Sam Guinen
1/29/14
Related

Why I Don’t Care About Plastic

First let me give you a little disclaimer. This paper is either going to be the best paper you've ever read, or it’s going to get me a detention. Either way I don’t care, I’m writing it anyways. This paper is going to go off track so many times it probably won’t even make any sense. By the end I’m sure I won’t even know what I’m talking about because I’m really just trying to get it to three pages. So far this paragraph is doing a good job of filling space.

You really picked the wrong day to assign this paper. I’m not having a good day, Chuck. So fair warning, this paper is going to be hella sassy, and probably horribly written. Like I’m talking straight up choppy sentences and like horrid grammar. So let’s get on with this nonsense so I can get to Mrs. Edwards’ paper, which it the one I actually kind of care about.

So plastic. It’s 100%, irrefutably, bad for the environment. It’s like smoking. Everyone knows it’s bad for you, but people do it anyways, which is fine. By now if you try to deny that smoking is bad for you then you honestly probably deserve whatever happens to you. This isn’t 1952 anymore, it’s, unfortunately, 2014, we know better. It’s the same thing with plastics. Everyone knows that they don’t break down in the environment. Everyone knows that it’s going to the ocean and killing the fish. Everybody knows. If you don’t know then you’re probably in a third world country. I never got the third world first world thing. Like, are there second world countries? I’m being complete real right now. I’m curious. Hold, let me look it up.

There are. I guess there are fourth world countries too. Weird. Speaking of third world countries, how about India. Yeah, it’s sad to watch those people live in filth, but I feel such disconnect to it. It’s not me, why do I care? I don’t. I know you know that I don’t care, but I’m going to say it again anyways. I. Do. Not. Care. Maybe the country should get its act together and build like garbage places (dumps, now that I think of it). Why doesn’t the government step in and actually do something? Why aren’t the people revolting if it’s so bad? It doesn’t seem like a problem to me. Just clean it up. Like, it’s not that hard. Clearly they need stricter regulations. I don’t think India is a problem because it will sort itself out eventually. Maybe I would care more if I saw it for real. I think you should pay to send me and Slank to India. Just kidding. I do want to go there someday though.

Did I tell you about me and Slank’s RV trip? Yeah we’re gonna buy an RV next summer and travel cross country. So the entire time I was watching that stupid plastic documentary I was just looking for places to go. He didn’t really go anywhere that we can take our RV though. So like I guess we need to invent like an RV boat thing, because I would actually like to go to India, and Italy, and everywhere. Obviously I don’t have that kind of cash. I’m just in retail. I would like to try my hand at waitressing. I’m really good at being fake nice to people.

Let’s get back to why I don’t care. I guess people are all butthurt because fish eat the plastic and then we eat the fish and then we get sick. Well here’s why I don’t care: I don’t eat fish. Fish is gross. I don’t understand why anybody would eat fish. Here’s how you fix that problem: Stop eating fish. You don’t need it that badly. Like I don’t understand why everyone overcomplicates it. Go eat a chicken. I don’t even care.

Sometimes I think I’m a sociopath. Don’t worry, I said sociopath, not a psychopath. If that were the case then we’d have a problem. What, don’t know the difference? While both sociopaths and psychopaths have no moral compass, no empathy, no sense of caring for themselves or others, and are usually pretty manipulative people, a psychopath is someone who is going to be violent. A sociopath (me) isn’t going to be violent. I don’t think I give you enough credit, you probably already knew the difference. Let’s move on. Surprising unrelated paragraph jump now!

Plastic has chemicals in it that cause cancer? I can’t say I’m surprised. Everything causes cancer these days. By this time in our lives we pretty much all know someone who has died from cancer, or at least had it. It sucks. It really really really sucks. I can’t even describe how horrible it is to know someone is dying right in front of you and not being able to do a damn thing about it. And that’s just the thing, I can’t do anything about it.

When I was younger I use to (still do) eat microwave popcorn daily. And when it came out of the microwave I use to lick the butter off the bag. I don’t know if you know this, but that’s actually hella bad for you. If damage was done, then damage was done. I was little. So someday if I get cancer I’m gonna go with the popcorn as a reason why. What happened, happened (that’s from Lost, which is the best show ever). I can’t do anything to change it. Neither can you. Everyone is going to die someday. Some sooner than others. Plastic has been around us our entire lives. We can’t fix ourselves now. It’s too late. Damage done. End of discussion. Even know as I stuff my face with cheese-its I’m eating them out a plastic bag. What else am I supposed to use? Glass? No. Paper? No. Plastic is a staple of life and it’s not going anywhere. Even if it did, it’s too late for me.

But what about your future kids? Is it too late for them? Which brings me to another huge I don’t care. You see, everyone is so worried about their future kids and what kind of environment they’re going to be raising them in. Which they should. People who are having kids should want to give them the absolute best future possible. Well, I’m never having kids. And no, this isn’t one of those classic teenager things where the teen is like I hate kids blah blah teenage angst. No, I really do hate kids. They’re sticky, and the poop, and cry, and smell, and the list could go on and on for reasons why I hate kids. So I don’t care about the worlds future, because I have no future stake in it. While I can get and respect people wanting to make the world safer for their kids, that’s just not something I have to worry about. If I ever did have a kid it would probably be accidently and I would give that thing up so fast the speed of light would be impressed.

I’m impressed with you for reading this far. I don’t know why you put up with this bull. If I was you I would hate me, but for some reason I get the feeling that it’s not the case. Why? Chuck, I’m not a good child, despite what you might believe. I’m a bad child. I’m rude, sassy, incredibly lazy, and you know, I’m kinda mean. Remember how I said I’d like to try my hand at waitressing because I’m good at being fake nice to people? Well, I’m fake sorry to say, you’ve been fake niced. I am the meanest person you will ever meet. Just ask Slank. Like. Girl should have bitch slapped me at least a dozen times now. I’m so mean even B-Souz has slapped me. Like. How do you ever get B-Souz that mad? You don’t know me at all.

Wow just a little more to finish off this paper and I’ll be done, but I actually have a lot more to talk about so this might end up being like four pages. Maybe not. We’ll see how lazy I’m feeling. I think I’ve got most of the sass out too, so I’ll be able to do Mrs. Edwards’ paper sass-free.

So I’d like to go back to where I was talking about cancer and how it sucks. Now I’d like to talk about death. Do you remember the first time you came to terms with your mortality? It’s funny, when I ask this question a lot of people say that they do. I don’t. I feel like I’ve just always known. So I don’t care. I don’t care when I die or how. If it’s death by plastic toxins I don’t think I’d have a problem with that. People are always trying to pro-long their existence. But why? Maybe we weren’t meant to get old and gray. I think they had it right back in the pilgrim days when they got married at fifteen and died at the age of thirty-five. Plastic is just another barrier the human race will have to overcome to pro-long the inevitable. Why bother? When you think about it, I didn’t ask to be born. I didn’t ask for plastic to be my problem. It’s really not fair that two people can just decide to force a human into this world when it’s very possible the child will be miserable. It’s not fair that we have to go to school, get tortured, make friends, go to work, have more babies, get old, and die. Like I didn’t ask for that. And on top of it I have to care about plastic? No. Not going to happen. #SorryNotSorry. I can’t do all that. I certainly am not going to waste my time caring about the plastic and where it ends up.

There’s one thing I learned today (or yesterday, depending on when you read this). You said something about alligator penis’s being hella small. That concerns me. Like those poor alligators must be all butthurt about their manhood. And if it can happen to alligators then what’s to stop it from happening to humans. Okay, you caught me. I don’t care about the alligators. I care about the human men this could be ruining.

So this paper probably didn’t make any sense and it probably didn’t fit any of the criteria because I didn’t actually read the board. But you should give me an A anyways. A is for awesome, which is another word for this paper. I mean like I guess I’ll take a B, but anything less than that would not be cool with me because it just took me an entire hour and a half to type this. It would have taken less time but I had to text Jacob every few minutes or he would get hella butthurt. So please give me a good grade. I deserve it and I am your favorite student. Okay peace out.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Buddhist Boot Camp by Timber Hawkeye

A case of mixed feelings

I think this one is more of a matter of my personal opinion than anything else. While the book was well written and clear I found myself wanting to put it down the further I got into it. I guess I'm not ready to be a Buddhist because I feel like I disagree with almost everything this guy was saying, especially in the first few sections.

Hawkeye tells us we should be grateful and happy. He says we shouldn't have a lot of things. And stuff along those lines. Which I disagree with. I like my things. My things make me happy. I like my things a lot, actually.

So anyways I'm not going to get too far into this book as a review. It's not really a story, just a bunch of lessons. There's no plot to complain about, and no characters to rip apart. So I'm going to say that you take this one as it is, and if you're going to read it then you need to read it with an open mind.

I give this book two and half stars.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Frozen

Believe the hype

First, let me apologize that the picture is going the long way instead of being wide. It's bothering me too, but it's gonna stay like that. Second, believe the hype.

I guess one of the reasons it took me so long to see this movie is because there were so many other movies to go see, a lack of money, a lack of time off to go see it, and a lack of friends to see it with. By now most people who want to see the movie already have. If you're one of those people that's holding back, for whatever reason, stop. Drop everything and run to see it now before it stops playing.

So clearly I liked it. I liked it a lot actually. Like. I liked it more than I liked Thor: The Dark World. Frozen, directed by Chris Buck and Jennifer Lee, could possibly be the BEST Disney princess movie ever (although it is kinda hard to choose between this and Tangled). I'll be honest, the movie has a pretty Disney plot. The princess, the prince, the true loves kiss, the blah blah Disney shit that's a little overrated in my opinion. Enter Anna (Kristen Bell), the incredibly awkward but kindhearted princess with dead parents and an older sister who shuts her out. I felt for her. She was just looking for love. When her sister, Elsa (Idina Menzel), accidentally uses her magic ice powers and causes an eternal winter it's up to Anna to save the day. And she meets a man while doing it. Kristoff (Johnathan Groff) is a little rough around the edges. And, come on, well all know where this is going. They live happily ever after, Disney ending.

But this movie is different in really one way. I cared about the characters. I laughed, and I almost cried (not even at the end, like at the beginning). I felt. At then end of the day that's what you want from a movie.

So I give this movie five stars, because it really did do a good job at being a Disney movie. To sum it up, it was cute, and the songs were funny. Until Olaf (Josh Gad) (the snowman) came in it was really only a four star movie, but the character just pushed it right to the top. He made the movie go from kinda funny to pretty much hilarious. So good job, Disney, for being smart and adding him in there. I don't think they would have been as successful had they not had Olaf.

I give this movie five stars

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Live For Yourself

It's Quotation Sunday once again. I had a quote picked out for today, but then I went on Goodreads and saw their quote of the day and fell in love. So. Oops. Today's quote is: "We live for books." - Umberto Eco.

This quote immediately made me stop and got me thinking. Lately I haven't been reading a lot. I haven't been living for books. Which is kind of sad, because at one point reading was all I did. I want that again. All I do now is go to school, work, come home, watch TV, and sleep. So today I'm going to really start reading again (you know, after I go out and eat, can't skip that).

People always have something to live for. It might be your family, your friends, your job, or maybe something smaller. Maybe you can't live without your TV. Maybe the idea of missing an episode of Grimm kills you. I want to live for books again. I want to live for the adventure of reading. But always remember, you have to live for yourself first.

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Ky and Cassia

It's Ship It Saturday again. Or at least I think it's Saturday. Being on vacation for two weeks is really messing with my internal clock. Anyways, I haven't done one of these in a while so I thought I should.

Today's ship is Ky and Cassia from the Matched trilogy. Now let me start off by saying, I've always liked Ky better than Xander. Always. I mean I liked Xander, he was a chill character. Still, there was never really any part of me that wanted Xander and Cassia together, which is extremely unlike me.

Let me give you a basic run down of every love triangle there has ever been. Girl is friends with boy. Boy love her. Girl doesn't think of him that way. Mysterious/dark/dangerous new boy moves to town or is noticed for the first time. Girl falls in love with bad boy. Bad boy gets girl. Best friend alone. The end.

And for the most part that's how Cassia's love triangle went. I'm going to say that 88% of the time when there's a love triangle I always choose the best friend, because I'm stupid and I love being disappointed. The exception to this is, of course, The Hunger Games, when I chose Peeta. But that's a whole other story. The point is, I chose the mysterious guy for once in my life, Ky. I think there's really only one reason why.

I knew Cassia and Xander were going to be matched together. (By the way you should read the books, they were amazing.) So when Cassia (spoilers?) was matched with Xander I wasn't surprised for even half a second. Being told that they were perfect for each other only made me dislike them as a pair. So when Ky comes along I felt kind of relieved. I wanted Cassia to have someone she didn't have to be with. So maybe it's not so much that I ship Ky and Cassia. Maybe it's more I just don't ship Xander and Cassia.

Either way, I finally got what I wanted.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Update Thursday #5

It should be Gothic Thursday but school was cancelled today because of the blizzard that hasn't even really started yet. Thank goodness. So I'm still on vacation. So here's Update Thursday instead.

I am reading:

Dracula by Bram Stoker for my English class. Yay Vampires that actually kill people.
Buddhist Boot Camp by Timber Hawkeye (which is the coolest name I've ever heard). My Aunt got it for me for Christmas. And while I myself am not very (not at all) religious, I still like learning about other peoples beliefs so I'm kinda pumped about reading it.
Prodigal Son by Dean Koontz. Which is the first book in the series. I got the entire series for Christmas from my Grandparents. Also pumped to start reading it.

As you can see I put the other books I was reading down. I'll pick them back up eventually, but for now I just couldn't get into them. Not sure if it was a me thing or a book thing. We shall see.

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